Am I the only one who struggles in this way? I think it is the curse of the perfectionist who procrastinates because she is afraid of not being perfect….
This has been an ever increasing struggle over the years. Over the past couples months I have spent a lot of time praying through this specific struggle of mine, that overwhelming debilitating feeling I get when I look at the tasks before me, no matter how simple they may be. I am so thankful that God has ben so faithful to answer that prayer, providing so much focus and determination.
I recently read a great book, Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches by Rachel Jankovic and though she was specifically writing about motherhood I gleaned wisdom that is very much applicable elsewhere in my life, especially this crazy business of mine. At one point in the book she talks about our desire as moms to just give in to the frustration and throw our version of a temper tantrum. We break down, we cry, we stomp our feet, we get bitter or angry or both about this hard job we have in caring for our little ones (insert any job you have right now…). And though that temper tantrum may only last a few minutes the damage can last so much longer. She makes the point that when we give our little ones a task and they subsequently refuse, throwing their own temper tantrums… that we do not look that different. And at the end of the temper tantrum the task still has to be completed, i.e. the child still has to clean their room, they are just prolonging the inevitable with their crying and stomping. I am so much the same as those little ones. I throw my hands up and get frustrated, I cry and act like a 2 year old who has been told they have to clean their room, but at the end of the day I still have to get the job done. This little snippet of the book taught me so much about myself and about how I go about my days. I decided to stop wasting time and energy getting frustrated and just do the task that was causing the frustration. So far, this little mind reset has worked miraculously.
So, this little monthly goal project of mine has already been amazing as it is shortened that endless to-do list! Yipppeeee!
Prayer Time WITH Aaron – Together we carved out time to sit with one another, read together and pray together. This does not happen every day but it does happen and is intentional = success
Prayer Time FOR Aaron – Our family, especially Aaron is just in a tough season right now and that naturally results in me spending more intentional time in prayer just for him. My prayer is that God will strengthen him, guide him, and daily provide wisdom and discernment as he leads this family and our church.
Intentional Time – We have made a strong effort to implement time together with the tv off and phones away to talk or read or pray. Again, this does not happen every day (except at the dinner table… which does happen every day!) but it does happen and is intentional = success.
Play Time – This is a struggle. Honestly. I am the mom who wants to do crafts and have scheduled activities with boys who just want to lay on the floor and play with their cars… or wrestle… or play super heros. My prayer is that God will give me creativity in being a mommy and find ways to connect with my boys that are meaningful to them.
Prayer – Check. Can’t. Do. This. Enough. 🙂
Plan Play Time – Fail. I tend to over-complicate things and this is one of those. When I said ‘plan intentional playtime’ I meant ‘color a picture or do a puzzle together’ but in my mind it turned into this big insurmountable huge preschool lesson I needed to put together. ha. So I just gave up and wandered aimlessly around the house while trying to ‘play’ with the boys. Anyway, its on the list for March so I’ll let you know how this one goes in this coming month.
Web/Blog Transformation – There was a bit of movement on this but mostly research as to what changes I would like to make. This one made it on the list for March as well. 🙂
Begin New Designs – After some thought I decided the shop needed to reopen sooner rather than later so instead of beginning the designs for each of those listed, I focused on one and excitedly finished my first collection under the new and improved Ashlee Proffitt.
In reality the biggest goals I reached this month were behind the scenes. My business was in need of a major makeover and that meant creating and implementing systems that will never make for a cute blog photo but have already improved my ability to be more efficient and productive giving me the most important thing, more time and mental energy to focus on being the best wife and mommy I can be!
Ok. Seriously. That was a long post. Next month’s won’t be so long. 🙂 I would love to hear how you tackled your goals in February!